Let’s face it. When you become a parent you are in the amateur category. You are facing a whole new set of conditions and problems.

On the other hand, grandparents have been through parenting and are in the professional category. As a grandparent I now realize that if you can raise your kids without them making some irrevocable mistake, you are a success. Being a grandparent also affords you the opportunity to take revenge on your children by influencing their children to return some of the misery they inflicted on you.

My grandfather was a master at this. Since we lived in the same ranch compound with him and my uncles, he had several suggestions as to what my rights as a child should be. Freedom was paramount in his eyes and he encouraged me to use my own judgement about a lot of things that were frowned upon by my archaic parents.

His concept for my family was that it should be a democracy and I should have an equal (though not superior) say in my conduct and decisions that affected it. My dad, however, leaned more toward the idea of a benevolent dictatorship.

Grandpa sympathized with my frustration of unreasonable parents and said that was what you had to expect from people who voted the way they did. I remember my mother flying off the handle and going into a full rant when I began a sentence with, “Grandpa thinks …” That was as far as I got before she interrupted and raged on about how she didn’t care what Grandpa thought and if I wanted to get along and make my life easier, I had better do what she and Dad wanted instead of what Grandpa suggested.

Later, when I relayed this Grandpa said he admired me for having the strength to put up with them and their narrow attitudes. He really seemed to get a kick out of the reaction.

My own kids got into the normal amount of trouble but no big problems. They were, however, a fairly constant annoyance. My oldest son Jeff once complained that his 16-year-old daughter, who had been a perfect child, had gotten into trouble and that she was grounded and her car had been taken away. I seized this as my opportunity for a little revenge. I texted my granddaughter and our conversation went like this:

Me: Heard you got into a little trouble. I was thinking maybe your parents are just being unreasonable.

Sophie: I couldn’t agree more, maybe I should bring up all the things young Jeff used to do, hmmmmm?

Me: I can sell you a lot of ammunition on that subject. You can probably fool him but Mom is going to be tough to fool. They will soon tire of hauling you around and if you make it hard enough on them they will cave in and return the car.

Sophie: Oh, no worries. I have been set free. They probably couldn’t handle me hanging around the house 24/7.

Me: I think you were in trouble for getting caught, not the deed itself. I used to tell your dad, if you aren’t smart enough to get away with it, don’t do it.

Sophie: I know Dad was disappointed but I have re-evaluated my ways and know just what I need to do to get back on track. I’ll try not to get sloppy this time around.

Me: Uncle Kevin can help.

Sophie: Oh Please! This isn’t amateur hour.

I can almost hear my grandfather laughing and approving.

Columnist Barrie Qualle is a working cowboy in Wallowa County.