Learning to make choices in life can be difficult for all of us, but even harder for children. Have you ever asked a child what kind of ice cream they would like, and they are unable to make a choice? Children develop an understanding of making choices through experiences.

As adults, we have metacognition of what is happening around us or what will happen with our options in different situations. Guiding your child in this process should lessen the frustration when a choice doesn’t turn out how they thought it should.

Providing the opportunity for your child to make a small decision is a good place to start. But, talking with them about their choice is where the learning and understanding expand their metacognition, allowing them to make more extensive and more complicated decisions in the future. So often, children have to make a choice and become frustrated because they may not understand or have sufficient experience in how to make these types of options.

Take the opportunity to guide your child in making a nonessential decision and choose an outfit to wear for the day when you have time to work them through the process. If they are stuck on making a choice, you may have to ask them some simple questions about what the weather is like outside or what activities may be planned. If they make a choice right off, ask them why they made the decision they did. This helps children build pathways in their brain to explain and defend their choice, which they can transfer to more complex decisions.

Talking with them about whether they are happy with their choice also helps them build self-evaluation of their decision-making process. Also, asking if they would make the same choice next time or try something else provides them the opportunity to practice processing their choices and applying them to other decisions they are faced with making and not freeze when they are asked to decide because they haven’t developed the understanding and skills to make decisions.

Making the time to work with your children through the experiences of making choices will allow them to understand better how to make more complicated decisions they might face in different situations. We can’t assume that children know how to mentally sort options and understand decisions which may lead to frustration as parents when your child is placed in a position of choice. Guiding them in making simple choices may lessen their future frustration when dealing with a more challenging decision.