Four things made our nation great,

And those four things are these:

Mom, Old Glory, apple pie,

And yes, the Japanese.

But really, when you think of it,

All we needed was the mothers,

because without them, after all,

we’d be without the others.

The flag’s the work of Betsy Ross,

The matriarch of three …

No one bakes an apple pie

Like mothers, you’ll agree …

And how far would Japan have come

In computer-chip genetics

If its founding fathers hadn’t

Found founding genetrix?

Chances are, your mother is

The mother of all moms;

Through thick and thin (and mostly thin)

She’s held up with aplomb.

Granted, she’s not perfect

Even she’ll admit to that;

Her beef stew tastes like cat food

And her chipped beef tastes like cat.

Sometimes logic can desert her,

Along with simple sanity …

Like when she makes you move the fridge

To dust dust you cannot see.

But on the whole, considering

The goods and bads about her,

There’s not a single shred of doubt

You couldn’t live without her.

When in need of common sense,

We’d be lost without dad’s spouse;

And we’d rarely find our glasses,

Or our car keys, or our house.

So let us lift a glass and toast

Those women in our lives

Without whom we wouldn’t be here:

Our moms, grandmas and wives.

Thank heaven they put up with us,

Because it’s plain to see

They make us all

All that we are

From she to shining she.